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Ally brief for managers & HR
Share this page or print it. Male employees experiencing abuse or smear campaigns are often disbelieved. This is how not to make it worse.
Key facts
- Men can be victims of intimate partner abuse and coercive control
- Shame and fear of not being believed reduce reporting
- Partners may contact the workplace with accusations; treat process fairly for everyone
- Performance dips can reflect sabotage, sleep deprivation, or trauma — not only “attitude”
Do
- Listen without gender jokes or minimizing
- Offer EAP / employee assistance and local hotline info (U.S. 1-800-799-7233; Canada 988 / 211)
- Document third-party contacts to the company
- Discuss safety: parking, schedule flexibility, privacy of address
- Keep the focus on workplace conduct and safety, not marital counselling
Don’t
- Force him to “tell the whole story” in a group
- Mediate a domestic dispute yourself
- Assume the more emotional caller is the victim
- Gossip “for awareness”