Public
Public spaces & de-escalation
Embarrassment is a weapon. Your goal is safety and exits — not winning the scene.
Default public protocol
- Lower your voice as theirs rises
- Angle body toward exit; do not corner anyone
- One sentence: “I’m not doing this here.”
- Leave. Kids first if present.
- If violence or stalking: call 911; document later
Kids’ sports & school
- Parallel parenting: separate cars, clear pickup rules
- Communicate through writing when possible
- Do not badmouth the other parent to staff in the parking lot
- Ask school for neutral handoff plans if conflict is known
Witnesses
You do not need an audience debate. If someone films, stay calm and leave. Your future self (and possibly a court) may prefer the boring video.
Scripts: smear card · what to say.